Once or Twice is Good for Your Soul
by Spikesgirl58
Summary: April's birthday party goes arwy and secrets are revealed...  Warnings:  Slash - if you don't know what that means or don't like it, don't read this...


There's something about birthday parties that always seem to bring out the worst in agents. This is strictly an observation I've made from a distance. I'm not usually asked to attend these functions. My partner refers to me as a party pooper, which, in all honesty, brings uncomfortable images to my mind. The truth of the matter is that I like a good party as much as the next guy, but you Americans, you have a strange way of celebrating things here. There always seems to be a copious amount of alcohol involved and there are things that I am determined not to share with anyone, especially not with my sagacious partner. Napoleon is one thing I protect at all costs, even when I'm the one paying the price.

Still, it was April's birthday and Section Four had their entire floor literally vibrating with music and laughter.

"We should go, Illya, just for a minute or two." Napoleon's attention was not on his wrestling and I flipped him easily, pinning him to the mat in a matter of seconds.

"You're not even trying, Napoleon," I chastised, putting a bit more pressure on his windpipe to see if I could focus him. He got a knee up and tried to boost me off, but I anticipated and shifted my weight. "Nice try, but an old one…"

He twisted under me and just for a second, I gave way to a daydream of him in my arms, me buried in him as far as I could…

Abruptly, I was on the floor, arms pinned efficiently behind me and Napoleon's knee resting indelicately on one of my kidneys. "And you accuse me of losing focus, partner. Where were you?"

I grunted as he applied a bit more pressure, letting him think he'd gained the upper hand. I relaxed my entire body, not easy when trying to calm a partial erection. The gym mat was cool and smelled of our sweat and disinfectant.

"Okay, I'll make a deal with you."

"No deals." I kept from groaning as his knee tried to punch its way through to my stomach.

"You get out of this and I will drop the topic of the party. You don't and you go, and you do it with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart."

Talk about a sucker bet… "Okay, I agree with your terms." Idiot…

"Napoleon!" April was being the perfect hostess, greeting everyone as they entered the conference room. As I expected, half of headquarters was there. Then she saw me and just beamed. "Oh my god, Illya? How did you get him here?" This she directed to my partner and he smiled ever so graciously, much the way a cat must just before breaking the neck of a canary.

"What makes you think I didn't come here of my own free will?" I answered before Napoleon had the chance. She didn't need to know that Napoleon had very nearly put me in Medical before I broke.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Illya!" She linked arms with us and hauled us into the heart of the fray.

Thankfully, within a few minutes, she was called away, Napoleon wandered off and I found a nice spot against the wall. I snagged a glass of champagne and let the world go by. I figured twenty minutes tops and then I'd ease myself out of the door and back to the relative sanity of my office.

Someone put on some music, something modern with a strong under beat. It wasn't jazz, but you really can't dance properly to jazz. Still this didn't inspire me to kick up my heels the way the music from my homeland does. I tried not to think about how many of my siblings' parties I'd missed, not to mention aunts, uncles, cousins; we Kuryakins are a prolific family… as long as you don't count in the oldest son of Nicolai.

Oh good, now I was getting maudlin. I sighed, sipped my champagne and mentally counted backwards from a hundred in Turkish just to give myself something to do.

I was starting my stroll to the door when I spotted Napoleon and realized something was very wrong with my partner.

Napoleon's hair was mussed, as if he'd run his hand through it and hadn't patted it back into place. And his body posture was wrong, he was slouching… I didn't even know that Napoleon knew how to slouch.

Then I saw him spill his drink and a Section Four pressed a fresh one into his hand. There was a group of three or four of them and I didn't appreciate the way they were attending to Napoleon's needs.

_He's my partner_ I thought and then chastised myself. _ But certainly there's nothing to fear from his fellow agents. After all, Napoleon is well liked and respected._

Yet, as I watched them more closely, I noticed that Napoleon's gestures were getting more extravagant, more exaggerated. That was also very wrong.

It was time to see what was going on. As I approached, I watched Napoleon's face brighten. "There he is!" he announced loudly. "The love of my life." The Section Fours started to snigger

"Gentlemen." I kept my voice low and very even. "Napoleon, it's time to go."

"And I know exactly where we should go; it's dark and secluded and we can…" He broke off, giggling, and I felt the hair going up on the back of my neck.

"What the hell did you do to him?" When I was younger, I'd had a fellow soldier tell me I was about as frightening as a whipped dog, so I'd spent years perfecting my glare – one that promised the most horrible of fates and the sheer delight I would have at inflicting them.

Napoleon draped an arm around my neck and I turned instinctively to help him balance. That's when he kissed me, in full view of more people than I'd known in the first ten years of my schooling. As much as I would have loved to have enjoyed it, this was wrong, this was hurtful and I was full of fury. Not at Napoleon, but at these shameless fools for what they had robbed my partner of. Napoleon could be swaggering, a gadabout, and a playboy, but it was always on his terms and he always did it with aplomb and style. They had no right to take his dignity from him, not like this.

"Mark." I meant to make the word as sharp as I could. He was there in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, mate?"

"Take Napoleon to Medical and see what these bastards fed him."

"It's wasn't much of anything, just some happy pills…" I didn't even know the idiot's name, but he didn't finish the sentence; he was too busy being unconscious on the floor.

One of his cohorts made a move, but his companion grabbed his arm. "You had no right to do that!"

"Are we going to talk rights now?" I kept my voice very controlled as I watched Mark wrestle a very loud and agitated Napoleon through the crowd. The room had gotten very quiet. "What right did you have to do that to him?" I pointed to my departing partner. "He's Section Two, Number One. That alone demands respect."

"And it's about time someone took him down a few pegs… the swishing bastard…" Then he joined his unconscious friend on the floor. The third one would have gone down as well, but April grabbed my arm.

"Let us tend to them, Illya. You should be with Napoleon."

"Yes, you should," the speaker spit out a mouthful of blood. "Birds of a feather and all that."

It took every bit of control I had to keep from attacking and finishing him then and there. There he sat in his nice safe office, with his nice safe job and his nice safe family, while people like Napoleon and me were denied all of that for a job few others were willing to take on. This bastard had no idea of the sacrifices made just so he could pass judgment on us and act like some God damn martyr… and the thing is, you have to be dead to be a martyr and I was so willing to oblige.

"Mr. Kuryakin," Waverly's voice made it though my red-tinged thoughts and I reined my temper in.

"Sir?"

"Go see to your partner. I'll handle this."

It isn't fair to be subjected to the humiliations of Medical when you haven't even been on assignment. When I arrived, they'd just finished pumping Napoleon's stomach. Not a pleasant thing, this I can assure you from personal experience.

He was lying, half propped up, still wearing his street clothes. At least that was a good sign. He looked up at me as I entered and then dropped his gaze to the bed, picking at some loose threads in a sheet.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I want to punch out a half dozen Section Fours."

I held up my bruised knuckles and smiled grimly. "Too late, but you could probably still get a few good licks in if you hurry. Last I saw, April was 'discussing' things with them."

"Christ, poor April. All she wanted was a party."

"And a party she got… she just wasn't aware of the party favors in attendance." I sat in the chair beside the bed, watching his face. "The doctors said that you were slipped one of Research's newest creations."

"Then why am I feeling like an old fool?"

"Napoleon, you somehow keep overlooking the fact that you are a victim in this."

"In case you've forgotten, I kissed you in front of everyone. You're a victim as well."

"No, I haven't forgotten." I paused and took a breath for luck. "Nor would I want to. It was probably not under the best of circumstances, but it certainly wasn't the terrible thing you make it sound. I found it rather… pleasant."

It was as if he didn't hear me. "And I said those things…"

"What? That you love me? There are far worse things to be said in the world, my friend."

"Wait… what do you mean, pleasant?"

"That means pleasing… enjoyable…" I let a hint of a smile escape. "Acceptable."

"What are you saying, Illya?"

I took his hand, just as I'd had done a host of other times, but this time I entwined my fingers in his. "Very… acceptable. Now, let me go find a doctor and see to your release so that we might discuss this in a more private setting."

I rested my head against his chest, content to just listen to the steady beat of his heart. Never in my wildest dreams upon waking that morning did I expect to have had my greatest desire fulfilled by nightfall. Yet it was. We'd returned to Napoleon's apartment and after a bit of hemming and hawing, we got down to the very satisfactory act of exploring our sexuality. I now understood why women, after a night with Napoleon, practically swooned at the sight of him.

"Where did you learn to do that?" I asked as his hand paused in stroking my back.

"Korea." The hand resumed. "And I'm detecting a bit of the English in your approach."

"Cambridge can be a very lonely place without a few chums to help you through the night." My hands were doing a bit of exploring on their own, caressing the silk soft skin of his hips, his thighs, his groin. I could feel the muscles trembling beneath my fingers tips, so ready for more, so ready for me. This day hadn't seen the best of starts, but I was determined that the finish would be spectacular… eventually… but not quite yet. We still had hours of love ahead of us…


End file.
